


4:44

by snowtouch



Category: MXM (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Doctor!Youngmin, M/M, Soldier!Donghyun, because we love drama, character death warning, donghan makes a small tiny bit cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 00:33:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14905137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowtouch/pseuds/snowtouch
Summary: "Remember me"





	4:44

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for wrong grammars and any errors. I "hope" you'll enjoy reading this :)  
> \--kat

_ "How ironic life is because the more you thought everything will be fine, the more it will not be." _

 

"Dortor Im! Please help us here!" I stopped running the moment someone called my name. I turned around and saw two other doctors carrying a soldier, almost soaking with his own blood. I handed the medicines I am carrying to a nurse passed by me and told him to take it to tent number 4.

 

I run towards the area where they are and I helped them transfer the soldier to the operating room here in the camp.

 

I checked the soldier and he is already barely breathing. This is not good. He's in critical condition and he can die any minute now. I must save him. I ordered one of the doctors I am with to search for his medical history in the documents section here in the camp so that I can know what is his blood type without any test needed.

 

The doctor immediately went out of the operating room and headed towards the documents' area. The doctor left with me looked at me in the eyes then she looked to the soldier. I already know what she's thinking about the patient. She's younger than me and I think it's her first time here in this field. One thing I learned from being a doctor is that, you have to fight for your patients life because they need your help.

 

"No, he'll survive. Just trust me." I said then started to clean his wounds all-over his body. I shook my head in awe when I saw a deep wound of gunshot beneath his stomach. I wonder what did he do just to save other soldiers from the war yesterday.

  
  


I started to clean the area of the wound and pour antiseptic to the sides of it.

 

"Dr. Shin, scalpel please." I said to the doctor who's with me at the moment.

"Okay." She said then hurriedly went to the tray of medicinal tools then handed me the sanitized scalpel.

 

I poured a little amount of water to the wounded part of the soldier and injected him with an anesthesia.

 

"I'm so sorry but it may cause you a lot of pain Sir, just fight it a little bit more so that you'll not die." I said to the soldier. I don't know if he heard me or not at least I said it to him. It's not about the pain anymore, it's about how to save him now.

  
  


I opened the part of his abdomen where the gunshot is. I heard him groan a little and all I can do is to say sorry multiple times. I didn't want him to suffer from this but I have to save him. After getting the bullet inside his body, I stitched up the wound and covered it with gauze. I am about clean the big scrape of wound on his leg when the doctor that I asked for the documents arrived.

  
  
  


"Doctor Im! I already have his documents. His blood type is O, he needs blood transfusion now but we already ran out of type O, what should we do?" He said worriedly.

  
  


I bit my lower lip and twitched my eyes sideward. I must save him. I need to do everything.

  
  


I get my walkie-talkie attached to my pants and pressed the button number 1 to talk to everyone who can hear me.

  
  


"This is Doctor Im Youngmin. Do any of you have the blood type O? If you do, is it alright if you will donate? Someone's in need of it. Please." A minute passed and no one answered me.

 

I heaved a deep sigh until my walkie-talkie beeped.

  
  


"Roger, My blood type is O, I'm willing to donate."

  
  


Donghyun-sshi?

  
  


"O-oh Lieutenant Colonel Kim Donghyun, p-please come to the operating room immediately." I tried my best to keep my voice sounds fine as it could be.

  
  


I heaved a deep sigh to let out my bad feelings inside my heart. He's here again, trying to save everyone even though he's the one who needs to be saved.

  
  


_ Kim Donghyun, when will you stop saving other people's life? _

  
  


After about a minute or two, he came rushing inside the operating room. He stopped in front of me and put both of his hands on his knees.

  
  


I felt an immediate pang in my heart when he lifted his head and our eyes met each other. Why would he still want to help if he's already like this?

He has multiple wounds all over his body. He's not okay, I'm sure of that.

  
  


"Who's the one in need?" He said almost catching his breath. I looked away and stopped my emotions to eat me up because I know that if I let my feelings be seen, it will not bear good for the both of us.

 

"You're not in good condition Lieutenant Colonel Kim. You can't donate blood---" 

"Just get my blood Youngmin hyung! He needs help. You're a doctor right? Help him through me."

  
  


_ Right. I'm a doctor. He's a soldier. He'll save people in danger then I'll save his life. _

  
  


I looked at Doctor Shin and nodded my head a bit. She just nodded too then prepared the things that we will use.

 

"Follow me Lieutenant Colonel Kim." I tried my very best to make my voice sounds fine but I think I failed to do it. I'm just lucky because I didn't stutter.

 

We went to the small room next to the operating room. No one's talking and I think the atmosphere between us suddenly became awkward. I remembered back in our high school days, he wasn't like this. He's like a sunshine that can brighten up every one's day. I don't see anymore the Kim Donghyun I used to know from his looks now but I'm so sure that he's still the same deep insde him.

  
  


When we arrived at the room, I heaved a deep sigh first then cleared my throat.

 

"Lieutenant Colonel Kim, have a seat please." I said and pointed at the bed. He sit there facing away from me so I heaved another sigh and started to perform the blood transfusion. 

 

No one's talking from both of us. Everything seems awkward.

 

I've been in love to him since I didn't know. I just woke up one day, my heart's beating already for him. I met him in my highschool days. He's a junior and I'm his senior. He's quite popular in his batch because he has a real deal good voice. He always sing in our school events and maybe, because of that, I grew this feelings for him that until now, I still have. I know that it's impossible for him to like me because I'm just Im Youngmin, someone who just know that studying is life. Yes I did good in school but compared to him, I'm just someone who'll not be noticed.

  
  


I looked at the wall clock then looked at him.

  
  


"It make take an hour or more. Is it okay if I leave you here? I'll be back before you coul----" He cut my words and looked at me glaring.

 

"I'm your patient as of the moment and it's your duty to look after me especially now that you're operating a blood transfusion to me." He said in a monotone voice but I can feel the feelings he put in each and every word.

 

"But nothing bad will happen to you. You're totally safe inside thi---"

"But still, I am your responsibility now. End of discussion." He said then looked away.

 

If I could just roll my eyes in front of him now, I would do it. I've been trying my very best to avoid him because he keeps on pushing me away and giving me cold treatments since the first day I stepped on this camp. He's giving the sensation that I am not welcom here like, it's his territory. Psh.

 

Honestly, he's the reason why I pursue to be a doctor for soldiers. Many huge hospitals are offering me to work for them but I choose to work here. It's because I want to see how he's going now. I want to know if he's still the Donghyun I've know before or at least see the Donghyun that grew up because of the time that passed by. I want to save him in every battle he's taking. I want to be there for him and to support him because I thought he could give back the feelings I invested for him but too bad, he's not into me though I already know that my dreams with him is just so impossible to happen.

  
  


I heaved a deep sigh and started to arrange the medicinal tools that have been messed up here. I can feel that he's looking at me and God knows how I wanted to look back to him but I must not. I must keep my distance to him now. He'll be a Colonel sooner or later. He has other priorities in life and I am not one of those. 

  
  


"Why did you choose to be a doctor here. Knowing you, many large hospitals will do anything just to get you in their institution but why here? Why did you choose here?" I stopped doing my thing the moment he said that. For the first time in my 2 months of staying here, he talked to me that he's not angry. How I miss his calm voice. I heaved first a deep sigh and continue what I am doing.

 

"Because I want to."

"You could help other people outside this camp there are lots of pe---"

 

I stopped again what I am doing and looked at him straight to the eyes.

 

"Because I want to save you." I finally said it. The reason why I am working here. The reason why I wanted to see him again. I wanted to be with him, to see that he's okay, to see that he'll be fine always and even if he doesn't feel the same way I feel for him, I will continue to do this all for him just to make sure he's fine and alive.

  
  


Silence embraced the atmosphere between us until he looked to the other side. I swallowed the lump in my throat not breaking the eye contact to him but he looked away immediately and lowered his head. He has been ignoring me even before in our highschool days but why does I feel like hell right now. My tears are already on its verge to fall down but I dont want him to see me cry because of him.

 

"You don't have to save me. My work is to save everyone. I don't need your help." He said in whisper sound voice. 

"I know. It's your job to help but it's my job too to help the ones that needs to be saved. I can save you Donghyun. Just let me Donghyun."

 

I know I sounded like I'm begging him to accept my love for him but, it may be half true too.

 

" _ You know I can't do that Youngmin hyung. I can't." _ And right after that words came out from his mouth, my tears just fall down though I don't want them to fall. 

  
  


"Y-yeah I'm sorry I forgot." I know he heard how my voice cracked and I immediately stood up straight and walks toward the exit.

  
  


I'm just looking downwards and I didn't notice that there's a cabinet of medicines on my way and I bumped into it. The medicines fell down and I immediately pick them up.

 

"Hyung..."

"I'm alright sorry." I said almost a whisper and put the medicines back and continue walking towards the exit. The moment I stepped outside that room, I breathed out and clutch my shirt on the part where my heart is. 

 

Stupid Youngmin. What were you think. What am I think? I already know that this would happen but why does it still hurts so bad. I am very prepared for this to happen but why do I feel like I'm going to breakdown?

  
  


"Doctor Im thank God! We need you. Please follow me." I looked to the person who said that and I saw one of the doctors I'm working with. His face was full of frustration but it suddenly disappeared and was replaced by a worried face. I immediately wiped my tears away and fixed my laboratory gown. 

 

"A-are you alright?" He was about to go near him when I gave him a thumbs up and tried my best to smile.

"I am. Let's go. Someone needs us." He just nodded to me then we headed our way to where the patient is.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Coffee?" I lift my head up and gave him a warm smile.

"Thank you Jaehyun." He handed me the coffee on his right hand and then he smiled and sit beside me. We're sitting on a staircase near the operating room and it's already 4:30 a.m. And finally, this is the first time for me to sit down after two days of working straight. Yes I am physically and mentally tired but I need to save many lives.

"You know. You did great Doctor Im. All your patients were safe already." I gave him a weak smile. I knew already from the start that all of them will survive because they were fighting for their lives. I'm just helping them to fight but thanks to them because they never gave up thier life.

 

"Can I ask you something Doctor Im?" I throw a look at him and creased my forehead.

"About what?" I asked back then he suddenly heaved a deep sigh and looked back to me.

"About the other day? Why are you crying?" I immediately looked in front of me and smiled bitterly. Jaehyun has been close to me since the first time I came here. We were both new here when we met and we got along pretty well. 

 

" _ Do you know how it feels like to love someone who doesn't love you back? Someone that you wanted to help but doesn't needs you. Someone that you longed to see for God knows how long. _ " I heaved a deep sigh again and took a sip at my coffee.

"It's hard. It feels like hell. It feels like, you're going to drown. It feels like you're about to die. It's hard and at the same time it hurts." I faced him and I can't help but my tears just fall down like I didn't want them to go out right now in front of Jaehyun but my eyes betrayed me and they just let my tears come out.

 

Jaehyun looked at me like he wants to say a thousand words but he decided not to. He put down his coffee beside him and then my eyes grew bigger when he gave me a tight hug.

 

"I know that you are hurt badly Youngmin and I'm sorry I can't do anything to lessen it. But you have me. I'm here for you." He whispered and I can't help but to cry even harder upon hearing his words.

  
  
  


\------------------------------------------------

  
  
  


_ Little did Youngmin know is that, someone afar from them was watching him, getting a tight hug from Jaehyun. _

 

_ "4:44 a.m. Youngmin hyung. 4:44 a.m." Then the man turned around with a stinging pain in his heart but decided to just walk towards outside the camp. _

  
  
  


\----------------------------------------------

  
  


It's been a week already since the war has settled down for a while. And I am thankful for that because everyone in the camp had the time to take a rest. Even us, the doctors and other staffs got some time to take a rest too. But for some soldiers, just like Kim Donghyun whose just been promoted as a colonel, is still busy as ever. After the day he gave some blood to my patient, he didn't stop working. I know that he's so passionated to his work but he might overwork himself. But still, I know that he doesn't want me and he didn't need my help so I am doing now my very best to keep my distance to him. Good thing that Jaehyun is always with me these passed few days and because of him, I can slowly divert my attention to him.

  
  


"Hey." My smile suddenly creep into my face as I immediately look behind me. Jaehyun. He smiled back to me and nodded his head.

"Are you ready? Everyone's outside now, they're just waiting for us." He said keeping his smile on his face.

"Yes. Just give me a minute. I'll catch up." He just nodded then headed outside.

 

I am about to get my phone when I suddenly realized that, all the doctors in this camp will go out for today. There's no doctor will be left here and I'm afraid that something bad might happen to the soldiers while we're away but, the general already let us leave for this day. 

 

I heaved a deep sigh and grabbed my phone and put it inside my pocket. I then decided just to go with my co-doctors. 

 

We went to the town and we all ate together in a barbecue house. Well I think it's not that bad to take a rest for awhile and go out with your work mates. 

 

After eating, we all decided to go to the karaoke house and have some fun. All of us are enjoying our good times together and everyone started to hype up. We drink, we laugh, we dance, we sing, it's like a party for all of us.

  
  


I am busy drinking my beer when I got this feeling to check my phone. I don't usually check my phone because I am not expecting any calls or texts. I also put it on silent mode so it can't bother us.

  
  


I was surprised to see text messages and phone calls from General Lee, the general that manages the camp. I opened his messages and I almost drop down on the floor upon reading those.

  
  


'Doctor Im. Where are you? I'm sorry to bother you but we need you here.'

'Doctor Im please. Answer my calls.'

'I'm calling and texting all of you. Where are you all exactly right now?'

'I gave you all the time to go out but don't do it like this. We're in need of doctors right.'

'Colonel Kim's not gonna make it if one of you will not arrive sooner. He doesn't want to be treated by other doctors except you.'

'I'm going to ask for a new set of doctors in this camp. I don't want to see all of your faces anymore.'

  
  


I think my heart just stopped beating and I immediately run towards the exit. I can hear them all call my name to go back but hell there's no way I'm going back.

 

I'm on the verge of crying just thinking what happened to Donghyun and to other soldiers. I will never forgive myself if Donghyun will die because of me.

  
  


Upon arriving in the camp, there are already a few doctors assisting and healing the soldiers. I swallowed the lump in my throat and then run towards the tent where General Lee is.

  
  


"General..." I said almost a whisper. I'm shaking and I can't think of anything but Donghyun. I need to find Donghyun.

 

"Where's Colonel Kim General?" He looked at me like he was going to rip of my head but he resisted. He looked at the left side of the tent and then I saw there Kim Donghyun looking almost a dead person.

 

I put all my effort to prevent myself from crying but my body is shaking and I can't even imagine him in that situation. I pushed myself to run over to him and checked his body. I took a sharp gasped when I saw four gunshots all over his chest. I can't help it anymore and my tears began to fall down.

  
  


"Save him Doctor Im! Don't just f*cking look at him!" I immediately look for the surgical gloves and put it on.

  
  


"Don't you f*cking die Kim Donghyun I swear I will burn you in hell!" I shouted-whispered and ripped off his shirt. He's not wearing his usual uniform.

 

I started to put sanitized water and alcohol all over his chest and he groaned in pain.

 

"Arghhhh!"

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I whispered to him hoping that it could lessen the pain.

  
  
  


\-----------------------------------------------

 

_ Doctor Im is trying his best not to cry but every time Colonel Kim Donghyun groans in pain, he couldn't help but to shed more tears.  _

 

_ He's performing a semi-medical surgery to Colonel Kim Donghyun and luckily that everything inside the tent where they are is sanitized and very clean. _

 

_ Doctor Im was the happiest when he finally pulled out successfully all the bullets inside Donghyun's body but there is one more problem now. _

_ Colonel Kim Donghyun loss a lot of blood and he's blood type O and again, they ran out of supplies of Type O. Doctor Im is about to go insane on where he could get blood for Colonel Kim Donghyun because apparently, no one matches his blood type. _

  
  


_ Doctor Im then decided to donate his own blood to Colonel Kim Donghyun though he's fully aware that he's anemic and it might cause him troubles but the hell he cares now if he gets into troubles. All he wanted to do now is to save Colonel Kim Donghyun, his love of his life. _

  
  


_ Doctor Im performed the blood transfusion with the help of some nurses and after he got a bag of blood out of his body, he already felt the tiredness and weakness in him. But he resisted it all because he still wants to help and save Colonel Kim Donghyun. _

  
  


_ While Doctor Im is monitoring his patient Colonel Kim Donghyun, he realized that the colonel is moving his hands and wants to reach him. Doctor Im held the colonel's hand and he could clearly see that Colonel Kim Donghyun smiled to him. _

  
  


_ "Angel... Y-you're my angel hyung... I love you." A whisper, it's just a whisper from the colonel but Doctor Im heard it clearly enough to make his tears fall down in no time. He smiled and held the colonel's hand tighter and smiled at him as the tears keep on falling down from his eyes. _

  
  


_ "Don't you dare die Kim Donghyun. I want to hear again those words you moron." Doctor Im whispered to the colonel with a smile on his face. _

  
  
  


\----------------------------------------------

  
  
  


It's been a day already but Donghyun hasn't woke up yet. And all the time he's been sleeping, I'm just sitting here beside him and waiting for him to wake up. I'm waiting for him speak up for his feelings. I'm waiting for him to tell me all his feelings right now because that's what I want to know. And I'm waiting for him to wake up so that I can say all my thoughts and feelings for him since the very start of everything. I knew that he would survive because he's a strong man. No one can beat him up.

  
  


"Dr. Im...." I turned my head around just to see General Lee. I immediately stood up from my seat and walk towards him.

 

"I'm afraid that everyone already told you that they were dismissed from their work here." I lowered my head from what he said. Yes. He dismissed all of the doctors in this camp and were replaced by a new team. I knew that we should haven't went out altogether but the damage has been done. We can't do anything now.

 

"But I asked some of them to just stay and fight for the next attack or should I call it biggest war?" I just nodded my head to him telling that I agreed to what he has said. Jaehyun and other male doctors we're asked to stay because many soldiers are still injured and not able to fight again.

 

"So I will ask you the same question. Will you help us fight too?" And that's the time I look straight into his eyes.

 

"G-general?"

"Well you see. You've been one of the best performing doctors here so I didn't dismissed you here but we still lack of fighters and I guess you could help us in that way too. Don't worry, I know that you've been friends with Colonel Kim so I will put you under his platoon."

 

I lowered my head again and heaved a deep sigh. Should I help him out? But what if something might happen to me and I will no longer be able to help Donghyun?

 

"General, can I ask for three days to think about it?" I said as I look at him again. He gave me a small smile.

 

"I know you wouldn't let me down Doctor Im. And please make up your mind as early as possible. Thank you." He said and I automatically bowed to him.

"Yes General. Thank you too." I said as I bowed again to him. He just nodded to me and walks towards the exit.

 

I heaved a deep sigh and went back to the side of Donghyun.  As much as I want to help in the army, I'm afraid that Donghyun might be scared for the sake of my life.

  
  


I'm just looking at him wondering when will he wake up. It's not that long that he's been asleep but it already feels like months that he's sleeping here.

 

I stopped moving even an inch when I saw his eyes twitch to the side. Don't tell me...

  
  
  


"H-hyung......" I can't help myself but to cry the moment he said that and opened his eyes. If I could just hug him I would do it but I know that it will not be good for the both of us if someone will see us hugging each other. 

 

He wrinkled his forehead and try to open his eyes wider.

 

"Why are you crying hyung? What's wrong?" He said almost a whisper. I tried my best to stop myself from crying. i smiled to him lightly and shook my head. He smiled back to me and closed again his eyes.

  
  


I'm happy that you're wake up already Donghyun. I'm happy.

  
  
  


\----------------------------------------------------

  
  


It's already 3 a.m. and I am still here ouside the camp, in the woods to be exact. I am sitting under a big tree and smoking a stick of cigarette. I know it's bad to smoke but I can't help it especially when my mind is so messed up just like right now. It's been about 12 hours since Donghyun woke up but still, he hasn't talk to me. He asked me to leave after a few moments when he woke up and he asked me to tell General Lee that he's okay already and so I did but when I came back, he's nowhere to be found already. What is he trying to do? Push me away again? No way. I wanna hear all his explanations and reasons why the hell did he call me his angel and told me that he loves me. I wanna know if it's true or he's just in his delusions. It's making me wanna throw up because of nervousness just thinking what would be his reasons and his feelings but a little excited too for what will happen if ever he'll ask me to be his lover.

  
  


I was about to puff again my cigarette when someone grabbed it and throw it on the grassland and stepped on it to kill the fire.

  
  


"How many times do I have to tell you that it's bad to smoke Doctor Im? You're a doctor and you should be aware that cigarettes are bad for your health." I looked up on him just to see the man that I've been waiting for.

 

He looks like a knight under the moonlight from the full moon. He's also looks like a prince ready to fight for their kingdom. But in reality, he's a warrior ready to save everyone and fight for what's right.

  
  


He heaved a deep sigh and slowly sat beside me. Pain was evident in his face when he finally got seated and that's when I remembered that he has multiple stitches in his body because of the gunshots.

 

"Your wounds..." I worriedly said as I look at him trying to make my voice strong because I know that I need to look strong in front of him so that he'll be strong too.

 

He smiled a little to me and made an okay sign.

  
  


"This is nothing hyung. I experienced many gunshots more than this already." He said and smiled lightly. I heaved a deep sigh and nodded my head unwillingly.

  
  


"The stars. They're beautiful right?" I looked at him and he's already looking up above the sky. I smiled lightly and nodded my head. He's right. The stars are beautiful. They're shining like diamonds up above. I then looked back to him just to see his smiling face that's admiring the beauty of the sky. Just like the stars, his eyes are sparkling and shining brightly in the velvet sky.

  
  


He slowly looked back to me but he kept the smiles on his face. But then his face turned serious suddenly.

  
  


"What's wrong hyung? Why are you crying?" He asked and wiped my tears away. I straightened my back and touched the other side of my face. I am really crying.

  
  


I tried my very best to smile in front of him even though I feel like I'm going to burst out crying out loud.

 

"I-i'm just happy to see you smile like that again." I said and wipe again the tear that feel down from my eyes. His serious face turned into soft one and he caressed my cheek.

  
  


" _ Hyung... I want to tell you something. _ " He said while looking straight into my eyes. I felt a tingling sensation that goes around my stomach. Is he going to...

 

"Hyung..." I am holding my breath and just looking at him straight into his eyes. He put his both hands on my face and slowly move his face towards mine. My heart is thumping so loud and I could feel like his heart is thumping hard too.

 

Our faces are already inches away until he make an another move and then he closed the gap between our lips. My eyes automatically shut and savor the kiss we are sharing.

 

I pulled him closer to me when his lips started to move. I feel like I'm going to melt down by his kisses. It's so sweet and makes my tears fall down because of happiness. His left hand moves towards the back of my head as he deepened our kiss. Our passionate kiss. 

 

We pulled away from each other when we both already need to breathe. He leaned his forehead onto mine and he's looking directly to my eyes. I looked back to him and tears are still falling from my eyes. He gave me a sweet smile as he move away his head from me and kiss me gently on my forehead. My lips automatically formed a smile as I reached for his hand. He intertwined our fingers as he sit again beside me. 

 

No one's talking but I slowly leaned my head on his shoulder and he moved closer to me as he started to hum a song.

  
  


I felt butterflies in my stomach when he started to sing the song 'Guardian Angel'. It feels like, I just want to stay like forever but I know that this is temporary for now but I hope that sooner or later, it will last. He didn't say anything yet to me but through his actions now, I can understand everything. When he finished his song, he looked again to me so I looked back to him. He held both of my hands as he carress it.

  
  


"Hyung... I know that, you've been through a lot and so am I. We've been a part for many years and I want to end that. I love you hyung. Since from the start, I love you. I'm just a scaredy cat that can't tell it to you, to show everyone how much I love you because I know that in this world we are living right now, they will not accept us. I don't want them to judge us because they will never understand us." I heaved a deep sigh and looked down but he cupped my face and slowly move it up again so that I can face him. He smiled lightly to me as a tear fell down from his right eye.

 

" _ Just let me finish the war next week and I'll quit being a soldier. I'll stay with you for the rest of my life. No more wars, no more fights, no more guns, no more risks. Just you and me forever. 4:44  _ " He kissed my forehead and I can't help it but to hug him tight. He hugged me back as he stroke his hands on my back.

  
  
  
  
  
  


It's nearly 6 a.m. when we decided to go back to the camp together but just like before, we didn't hold hands. I'm afraid that someone might caught us and they will kill Donghyun for that. He suddenly stopped walking so I looked at him. He smiled to me then put a stainless necklace on my neck. It's his dog tag. I looked at the pendant of it then there I saw his name engraved on it. 

  
  


_ Colonel Kim Dong Hyun _

_ 09-17-98 _

_ Republic of South Korea _

  
  


I looked back to Donghyun and he's still smiling widely.

  
  


"Look at the back of it." I gave him a knowing look before I look behind the pendant. 

  
  


_ IMY's _

  
  


A smile immediately crossed to my face as I look at him again with so much love written on my face. He let a chuckle as he rub the back of his head.

  
  


"Is it cringrey?" He asked while looking away from me.

"Cringey? What are you talking about? It's so sweet!" He immediately looked back to me when I said that. A big smile was written on his face and he rubbed again the back of his head.

 

"S-so I'll go in now." Then he ran to his tent and left me here. I just shook my head while keeping a smile on my face as I gently touch the pendant of his dog tag.

  
  


I made my way to General Lee's office and good thing he's already wake up.

  
  


He was scanning some papers when I faked a cough that caught his attention. He stopped what he is doing and gave me a small smile.

  
  


"What is it Dr. Im?" He said and I walked a little bit closer to his desk.

"I'm going to fight for the war." I said and gave him a small smile. I made up my mind, I will help Donghyun for the last war. I know that it maybe risky but I want to help and save him with all my strength and I know that at the end of everything, we'll be free and live together happily.

"Thank you Dr. im for choosing to help us." I just smiled to him and then I nodded to him.

  
  
  
  
  
  


\-----------------------------------------------

  
  
  


Today is the day. It's time already to fight for the war. Donghyun and I became busy this passed week but we never forgot to see each other every night. But I never told him that I'm going to fight in this war too. 

  
  


All of us under Donghyun's platoon were lined up because he will check if everyone from his team is here already.

  
  


He walked inside the room and I can't help it but my heart started to thump so loud. He wears his serious face on and he scans everyone in the front line. I'm on the second line so I bet he didn't saw me.

  
  


"It may be your first and last fight. It may be also your last day today so I want all of you to be brave because I don't want anyone in my platoon to die. Understand?" He said out loud fronting us, his platoon.

 

"Sir, yes sir!" We all said in chorus. He nodded his head as he started to call each one of us.

  
  


"Sergeant Kim Dong Han!"

"Salute! Sir, present sir!"

 

I'm next in the line and we all noticed that Donghyun stopped talking so I took a quick glance to him and I can see that he's looking at me. I can't see what's running in his mind but I'm sure it's not good.

 

"Sergeant Im Young Min!"

"Salute! Sir, present sir!" 

 

Donghyun finished calling everyone in our platoon and then he walked towards my way.

 

"Sergeant Im, follow me." He demanded then walked to his private office.

 

I followed him and the moment I stepped inside and closed the door, he immediately huuged me.

  
  


"Y-you don't have to do this Hyung. Y-you don't have to fight." He said while hugging me so tight. I can feel that he's already crying but I have to be strong. I swallowed the lump in my throat and push him a little bit and cupped his face.

 

His eyes are already red and tears are keep on falling down. I pushed myself to smile at him and speak without breaking my voice.

  
  


"Heyyy. Where's the strict Colonel Kim a while ago?" I smiled to him as a tear fell from my eyes. He's just looking down and keep on crying. What a cry baby. If today is just a normal day, I would laugh out loud because he was crying like a baby but it isn't. We are about to fight and our lives will be in danger minutes from now and I would never let myself and Donghyun die. If we'll die, we will die together.

  
  


"Why?" He said almost a whisper. I just smiled to him again and gave him a quick kiss on his red lips.

 

" _ It's the last war of yours right? If it's the last, then I wouldn't mind fighting with you. It's our fight Donghyun. It's ours. _ " After I said that he hugged me tightly so I hugged him back.

  
  
  
  
  
  


"Remember that don't ever go away from me. Don't go anywhere without me understand." It's like the 100th time Donghyun said that and he keeps on kissing my hand. We are already on our way to the site and we are riding his private car. General Lee let him go to the site using his car and he let him too go there with me.

  
  


I just nodded my head to him until he stopped the car.

 

"We're here." He said as he looked to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. There's no time to do extra stuffs so I hugged him tight before we go out of the car. He hugged me back and stoke my hair gently.

  
  


" _ Whatever happens I will save you. We will survive together. I'll aways guide you no matter what. I love you and please keep that in your mind hyung. Don't you dare get hurt here or else I will punch you straight into your beautiful face." _ We both chuckled a little bit on what he said.

 

We pulled away from the hug and we looked at each other's eyes.

  
  


" _ Just... Just remember me hyung. That's all I ask because that will save you from everything okay _ ." I gently nodded my head then we decided to go outside.

  
  
  
  


\-----------------------------------------------

  
  


_ Everyone was in their own positions already and ready to fight. Im Youngmin was behind of Kim Donghyun as they wait for the opponent's attack. _

 

_ A very loud blast was heard, a sign that a bomb just exploded and then the war has finally started. _

  
  
  


\-----------------------------------------------

  
  


I'm keeping my guards up while hiding and aiming gun fires to our opponents. I'm so nervous that something bad might happen to me but I must keep my focus to survive here. I already got  some wounds all over my body but I know that I can still fight. I will not leave Donghyun here alone.

  
  


I saw Donghyun aiming his gun to the other side of the lake and not too far from him, I saw our comrade being shot on his right leg. I immediately went to my comrade and I was about to help him when we heard a gunshot and I felt something strong struck me right in the middle of my chest.

  
  
  
  


"HYUNG!" Donghyun ran immediately to me and I felt my knees become weak like I am near to collapse. Donghyun asked for a help from one of our comrades and he took the soldier that was shot on the leg. Donghyun helped me to move and laid me behind a big rock and he opened my army uniform. 

  
  
  


Tears started to fall down from his eyes when I realized that I am not hurt.

  
  


"Donghyun I'm no----"

" _ The dog tag. _ " He was just staring at my chest so I looked at my chest too.

 

The bullet was stuck to the dog tag that Donghyun gave me and it saved me from the gunshot. Donghyun smiled to me and hugged tight. I breathed out and a smile crept into my face.

 

"I'm getting you out of here." Donghyun said and helped me stand up. 

"No Donghyun... We'll still fight remember?" I insisted but he just smiled to me.

" _ We will fight together but I want your safety first. _ " We carefully went back to our safe base and he asked people under his power to let everyone that were hurt send back to our base camp. 

  
  


"Donghyun please. I will stay here. I don't want to go." I pleaded to him and I can feel my tears are on the verge of falling.

 

He hugged me tight so I hugged him back.

  
  


"I will be fine here hyung.  _ Remember that I am always ready to fight and I will never leave you. I will always guide you. Please, just remember me and everything will be fine. _ " He said and pushed his self to smile. I shook my head and tears just fall down from my eyes.

 

"Hyung. Don't cry please. Just wait for me. I'll be back for you.  _ We'll still make our own family right? We'll still live together happily. We'll be both happy hyung. You and me, us, together. Remember? _ " I just nodded my head but my tears won't stop from falling.

  
  


"Major Park, are we ready to go?" I can hear the seriousness from Donghyun's voice but he can't hide from me that his voice is cracking already.

"Yes sir. We're ready to go."

 

I looked up to Donghyun and he smiled to me and tears are already swelling up in his eyes. I shook my head again but he just nodded.

 

"Good. Please take care of everyone. Send them all safe." He commanded.

"Sir, yes sir!" 

"Good."

  
  


Donghyun held my hand and gently squeeze it.

  
  


"Please Donghyun..." I pleaded to him but he just kiss my forehead and move away immediately.

" _ Just trust me hyung. Remember me. Wait me at 4:44 am. I'll be there for you. _ " 

  
  


The car started to run and as much as I want to not let go of Donghyun's hand, I have to. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I look to him while we're moving away. He gave me a small smile as he nodded his head and put again his helmet.

  
  


I'll remember and wait for you Donghyun.

  
  
  
  
  


\----------------------------------------------

  
  
  


It's already 1 a.m. and almost all the soldiers that fought from the war were here already but Donghyun is not here yet. They said that there are still about 60 soldiers left there and they aren't sure if all of them are alive or dead but one thing's for sure, someone died from our platoon but they don't have any news yet who was that.

  
  


I'm so afraid because Donghyun's not here yet but I believe him. He'll come back to me and I guess he really meant that he'll be back at 4:44 a.m.

  
  


Another military vehicle arrived and I immediately stood up.

  
  


Everyone gathered around them and so I did. Everyone in that vehicle were dead already. The soldiers that were already feeling fine helped to move out the lifeless bodies of the soldiers that turned out to be saviours.

 

I scanned them all and thanked God that Donghyun was not there. 

 

"He's the one that died from Colonel Kim's platoon." I heard a lieutenant said to General Lee. I looked at the lifeless soldier and I didn't recognized him.

"He's not from our platoon. I don't recognize his face." I commented and both General Lee and the lieutenant looked at me.

 

General Lee smiled a little bit.

 

"So that means that no one died in Colonel Kim's platoon. He's really good at saving people. I can see that a new promotion is waiting for him." General Lee commented.

 

I smiled lightly and felt proud because of what Donghyun did for everyone.

  
  


Our attentions were caught up again when another vehicle arrived. Major Park hurriedly went down of the driver's seat and sadness mixed with disappointment was written all over his face.

 

"It's the last batch right?" Lieutenant Kang said.

"Yes. Donghyun is surely in that vehicle already." General Lee said and I got a bit excited to see him and at the same time, I'm nervous because what if he was badly hurt but I believe in him. He will make it.

 

The moment all the bodies were out from the vehicle, I went to approach Major Park.

 

"Major Park..." I called out. He looked at me and nodded his head.

"Where----"

" _ We already found the soldier that died from your platoon. _ " I was confused from what he said because everyone in our platoon are already safe.

"W-what are you talking about? Colonel Donghyun is the only one left there and all of us from his platoon are safe al....ready." Then that was the time I realized what he wanted to say.

  
  


He looked inside the vehicle and looked down.

  
  


I felt my knees become jelly and my feet were like glued to the ground. I swallowed the lump in my throat and faked a laugh to him.

  
  


"Y-you gotta be kidding me. That's impossible Major Park. That's impossible." I felt my tears started to fall down on my cheeks and I don't care anymore if Major Park will see it.

"I-i wish it was a joke Sergeant Im. I hope it was." He said. 

  
  


I wiped my tears away. I won't believe Major Park. Donghyun is still alive. He promised me. He'll come back.

  
  


Even if it's hard to move my feet, I did my very best to walk because I will never believe that Donghyun is dead unless I see it.

  
  


I stopped walking right in front of the lifeless body and my tears just came out immediately. I fall on my knees and cried all my feelings out. 

 

I held his hand and I cried even more when the warmness of his hand is now cold as ice. I can feel the stinging pain in my heart and they're breaking my sanity into pieces. 

 

Donghyun promised he'll come back. Yes he did came back but I didn't expected that he'll come back lifeless already. I should haven't leave him there. I should've fight with him. I should've told him how much I love him. How much I wanted to see him smile. I should've said everything I feel for him before I left him there but it's too late now. Even if I will say to him all I wanted to tell him, there's no use anymore. He'll not hear it now.

  
  


"Youngmin. Here's, Donghyun's letter for you." I looked at the letter and I reached it unwillingly.

"Donghyun always remind me to give all his stuffs to Dr. Im Youngmin. I know what he feels for you Youngmin. You're lucky. He was still barely alive when we saw him and he said to me that,  _ I should tell you how much he loves you and he wanted you to remember him. And if ever he will never make it to arrive here alive, he told me to tell you that you're his 444." _

 

My tears just won't stop falling from my eyes as I look intently on the letter he wrote for me.

  
  


"I'll leave you first Dr. Im."

  
  


I am already catching my breath and I keep on wiping my tears as I slowly open his letter.

  
  
  


_ To the GREATEST DOCTOR I HAVE EVER MET, IM YOUNGMIN, _

 

_ Hyung... It's my 44th letter to you and hey! It's my 4th major war to fight for already. 444 right? Hyung... I'm so happy that you already know my feelings now after how many years? 10? Haha. _

_ Hyung. Remeber that I love you so much. You are my angel. You always save me when I'm in the verge of death. I don't know what I did in my past life to deserve a love from someone like you. I'm so sorry if I had to push you away while you were here in the camp. It's for your sake hyung. I'm afraid that they will automatically fire you if they will ever know about your feelings for me but just like I promise you. I will give up this job for you. I know you're more than worth it if I will give up my work for you.  _

 

_ Hyung... I probably didn't make it to go back if you're reading this. I'm sorry hyung. I left you already. I really don't want to leave you but, maybe my life is just up to here only. At least I already told you how much I love you. How much I miss you from the years we've been a part. And how much I wanted to save you from everything that may hurt you. I know you're hurt now because of me hyung but I want you to continue your life. Continue the dreams we've plan. Even if it's hard to accept that you will build new dreams with another person, I will be happy for you because you will never be alone. As much as I wanted to ask you to wait for me, I won't do that. All I will ask hyung is that... Please remember me. Please remember that some time in your life, you've met me. That some time in your life, you used to loved me. That some time in your life, you saved me. Hyung... Please remember that I will always love you. I'll always guide you whatever happens. Now that I'm gone, let me be the one to guide and save you from everything hyung Remember me. I love you. _

  
  


_ Yours only, COLONEL KIM DONGHYUN. _

  
  
  


I let out a heavy breath as I control my tears to fall down but I didn't succeed.

  
  


_ Donghyun... I'll remember you. _

  
  
  
  
  


\---------------------------------------------

  
  


"Dr. Im!" I immediately looked at the person who called me. I smiled to him and he smiled back.

 

"Did you already visited him?" I asked him. He smiled to me as he gently nodded his head.

"Everyone did already. I think he's waiting for you already there. He saved us all and I will never forget that." He said then smiled again but with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"He will always save us." I commented and looked in front where he is.

"I will go to him now." I said to him. He just nodded his head and then I headed towards his mausoleum.

  
  


A big picture frame of him was hangging on the wall.

  
  


_ Colonel Kim Dong Hyun _

_ September 17, 1998 - September 6, 2032 _

  
  


" _ Appa... _ " I immediately looked at my son who just woke up from a nap in my arms.

"Hmm?"

"What are we doing here?" He asked as he looked at Donghyun's displayed picture.

"We're visiting him son."

"Who is he?" He asked as he looked back to me with curiosity written on his face. I smiled to him as I looked again to Donghyun.

"Someone that saved me. Someone that saved my life."

"Saved your life? How come appa? You're a doctor. You're the one saving lives right?" I just nodded to him.

" _ Yes. I'm a doctor but him, he's an angel. My guardian angel." _

  
  


I moved a little bit closer to his tomb.

 

" _ Hey love. Colonel Kim. I'm sorry if it's been years since I last visited you here but hey. I did what you wanted. I'm sorry if it's not you whom I build a family with but... I always remember you Donghyun. I remembred you. I will always remember you. I love you Donghyun. I will always do." _

  
  


My son gently hugged me tight and lean his head on my shoulder.

  
  


_ "I love you too appa. Donghyun loves you too. Donghyun will always love you no matter what." _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
